I admire Christina for her effort to learn how to function all over again, despite possible yearning the old thriving life and a must
to designate her a new identity – to face what it means not to feel her body anymore, despite the rational knowledge that it exists and functions physiologically functions. It’s unbelievable how she just managed to trust herself and believe in gradually building her reality again, although despite her own and the surrounding inability to understand her state and experiences.
I enjoyed the essay mostly because it provoked me to realize what life would be like without some obvious element of not even social, but personal existence, and even more for revealing what it means to cope with such a loss. What a tremendous (but still human ?) effort, hope and especially patience it requires to believe the loss is not the end, a confidence a person has enough strength to rework it and that of the loss doesn’t mean deprivation of personal value, in spite of social incomprehension or moments of collapse.
I think it was a moving and tangible description of a severe suffering and slow process of finding a way of getting out of it. I find it allowing to sympathize with Christina and imagine one’s own fight with such a challenge. Personally, at present I can’t imagine myself going through something like Christina. I guess I would be just like the rest of the patients mentioned in the essay who just stick to any reassurance of medicament supposed to improving their state (like the pyridoxine treatment) and I would stampede to any illusions of bringing back a mock of past life instead of fighting to accept the loss and learn to live in the new reality.
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